It is not always that you raise your hopes for months to have a fire kindled in you, only to be dozed to ashes in a minute. Not always is a man ready to take a risk that spans across continents and important years of his life. It’s not easy to be a sport when the woman says, “I have never thought about us in that way, I am really very sorry” in an apologetic tone that is so genuine that it begs for her inner words to be read, “Please don’t hold this against me, let’s just be friends.”
Actually, I didn’t want life to change. I wanted her to be the same friend, and myself the same person that I am. I just wanted to know what she felt like. She was honest. That’s what mattered.
If you were thinking that I was talking about the real problems in the world, and now think that I am a self-obsessed bastard, you were wrong and you are right. It is just that the prospect of a partner with whom I can connect, had kindled dreams that I have lying shattered. A part of me is in pain because of this reason. Honestly, it’s not that easy.
The most striking fact that I realize now is that I wasn’t prepared for this answer. The same selfish asshole took her sweetness for granted. Thank God, she bought me back to reality. Reality, for many, are poverty, lack of medical help, education and respectable jobs. For many, it is war against militants. For many, it is much much more. It is time to get back to the reality.
The woman who is supposed to sit beside me in the flight comes in late, and while getting her ass over my knees, says to her girl-friend over the phone, “He is planning to go to Dubai! I can’t even handle national long-distance, don’t know about international.” Lesson: Reality is ironic. We have to live with it.